I am in Moscow, ID now with my sister... she's studying and I am just hanging out... filling out all my nursing licensure stuff... reading (Merle's Door), organizing my pictures and playing with my new computer... it's cold, there's snow on the ground, the sun is out and the sky is deep blue... I'm with my sister... it doesn't get much better.

I need a theme for the next few posts, so I think I'm going to start thinking about my goals for the new year. One of which is to settle myself, physically and emotionally... mobile may not be the best place in the world, but it's certainly not the worst. And the few friends that I do have there are great people... which fulfills a goal I've had in the past to surround myself with good people no matter where I am geographically. I want to focus on my job, constantly learning and bettering myself. It's not going to be easy and won't always be fun... but I want to keep a good attitude and bring positivity to the floor. It will be good. 2008 was good... 2009 will be good, too...

A picture of my best friend and I overlooking Ecola Beach, OR. I highly recommend you go there (if you click on it, it will take you to my flickr site).

we get together with my mom's family every thanksgiving. this year we rented a house in savannah and it was awesome. we did a lot of walking around the city, lots of eating, some shopping, and even took a haunted ghost tour of a few of the neighborhoods. a good time was had by all. -j

I love this girl. This is my sister, my only sister. She is my best friend and has a personality most complementary to mine. She's calm, smart, level-headed, kind, loving, quiet, giddy, hilarious and genuine. She teaches me patience and kindness and even though she's 7 years younger than myself, she's my most influential role-model and friend. I'm going to Moscow (Idaho) to hang out with her for a few days and I cannot wait. More pictures to come.

cash and i went to north carolina a few weeks back - i've finally gotten a chance to post a few of my favorite - we did a lot of really great hiking and relaxed just enough to recover from the stress of school. i absolutely loved the week and can't wait to return in the fall.


hike to dry falls


this just might be pure joy


resting atop scaly mountain


cash waiting for my return from the fruit stand


again, a view from scaly mountain. it was beautiful!

life on the bay really isn't so bad.



i have seen some absolutely glorious sunsets from my pier- they act as quiet reminders to chill out and reflect. i loved this one.

thirsty thursday with some extremely dehydrated nursing students

starting a list of all things good:
my dog
cooking
fresh blueberries
north carolina in august
reuniting with old friends
a good friend in a time of distress
good, honest advice in a time of distress
my roommate
my parents
my sister (who flew in an F-18 today)
my brothers (most of the time)
hot tea - sleepy time tea to be exact


i just need good karma right now... trying to put positive energy into the world.

focusing on all things good.
peace, jw

earlier tonight i was starving for stimulation. for one reason or another, i was feeling very under-stimulated and bored. i unpacked my bags, started laundry, returned most of the phone calls from the weekend, and started to write a letter and still found myself longing for stimulation. then the phone rang... and it was an old friend whom i had not spoken with for over a year. if you had known me three years ago, you would have known that this friend meant the world to me and that he understood me, my world and my state of mind better than anyone else in life. but it got to the point that we could not have other relationships without sacrificing the relationship that we had built with one another. i don't know if that makes sense to anyone, but the bottom line is that the friendship that we had was special and as the best things in life tend to do, it ended abruptly and we didn't speak for over a year.

what do you say to the person who stole part of your heart and didn't offer it back until after you had replaced the missing piece with something else - with other experiences, with different types of love. i realized when we were trying to talk, that what he had to give back no longer fit the way that it had. and then... i definitely felt stimulated. sad. relieved. proud that i kept my marbles together. sad that i had forgotten what it felt like to feel so many emotions at once. disappointed that i got to this state and lonely because i am in this position, missing a friendship that once brought me so much life.

overall, though, i feel content with the state of things and the progress that was made by simply speaking and listening - as two of my favorite sayings go, "love conquers all," and "time will do the talking." thank goodness for that.

i have been LOVING looking through old photos! This was taken when my friend, grace, and I went drove home from Seattle last August. I had been working in Idaho, so I picked her up in Seattle and we took the long way home - driving from seattle, west around the cascades, down hwy 101 through oregon and northern california, camping at some of the most beautiful campgrounds along the way. We went to Montgomery Woods, one of the tallest Redwoods in CA is there and then drove East through nevada, utah, and colorado - stopped at the Fat Tire Brewery in Fort Collins, CO and then through Kansas and down through Oklahoma to catch I-40 so that we could make it to Memphis for the Memphis Cultural Festival and a Redbirds game on Labor Day weekend with Leah. It was a great time for sure. ah, memories...

the turbo hot chocolate with sprinkles

because i'm feeling a bit chatty, and a little bit uncreative with my thoughts. I decided to blog this week about food. I am so intrigued by food - the way that it brings people together, the entire process of growing/buying/cooking/eating, the nutritive value and the satisfaction that it brings to our lives.

I just wanted to share some of the foods that I cooked last summer on our river trips. We cooked Chorizo pasta, enchiladas, and a turbo hot chocolate with coffee, whip cream, and SPRINKLES... we packed everything on our river trips with us and cooked along the 90 miles of river using dutch ovens, coal, and wood. It was so much fun and so satisfying to row all day, cook at night and eat a meal with friends and co-workers in perhaps one of the most beautiful and secluded places in the country.

i spent my summer here last year. i lived in a house that overlooked lake pond-orielle and whenever i was in town (i was river-guiding a few hundred miles away on most days), i made it a point to watch these sunsets. i live for those moments when nothing else matters. when you'd give anything to share what you're seeing and doing with the people you love. moments like that are unique - i love when you can be somewhere completely different, close your eyes and see, feel, smell and taste the memory of another place in time. i love that you can remember how your heart felt at that time and remember that state of mind. these memories and places are different for everybody - and not everyone will understand why another's memories are remarkable - that's what makes them special, the belong completely to the person who houses them. pretty neat.

Let me tell you how much I love this girl. She helped me to appreciate the importance of good girlfriends. She was there for me when I seriously thought the world might end. It didn't... she does not care one bit about being different or quirky and we fight like we love eachother by speaking our minds, accepting our differences and knowing that when it comes down to it there is nothing but love abounding. She loves to sit around and drink wine and make earrings (beautiful ones to be more exact) and she has a knack for thrift store and flea market goods that makes you want her as your personal shopper, she's so unique.
A truly wonderful friend, indeed.

I went to Memphis this past weekend. It was so good for a multitude of reasons...
Visiting a set of my friends that I rarely get to see... friends from summer camp, where I spent my childhood and some of my pre-"adult" summers. It was great. They remind me of certain aspects about myself that often go un-appreciated - even aspects that I, myself, under-appreciate.

Flying. I L-O-V-E LOVE to fly. It's something like to an out of body experience - a chance to leave life for a little while, relax, be away from my cell phone, computer, away from school, away from confusing relationships. It's a great view of sunrises, sunsets, lightning (in my case), and the stars! I can think clearly about my plans, aspirations and beliefs.

I wonder why flying is so refreshing? Could the changes in pressure and oxygen content be the reason? Certainly the preparation for flight is not... missed flights, security lines, taking off your shoes and walking where thousands of people walk bare-footed each day... yuck! But nonetheless, the flight, itself, is wonderful.

if given the chance, people will talk.

my dad always told me that you can make someone comfortable my letting them talk about themselves, ask them questions about themselves and let them talk about what they know best, themselves...

i think this has been true for me in most situations. i can think of one where it was absolutely not, but for the most part people have a lot to say. we have a lot to learn from each other and people have a lot of knowledge (however random it may be) that they are just bursting to share with someone else.

a few examples
my aunt is super quiet, she's very humble and does not often talk about herself. HOWEVER, tonight I was telling her about my nursing school experiences and a few of the things that i've seen and learned, etc and she is a nurse, and boy did i get her talking! not only did a learn a lot about nursing, but i learned a TON about my aunt!! it was great!

gosh, there's so much more to say about this. gotta sleep now though.
jw

jazz fest with victor

IMG_2851
Originally uploaded by jkdavis216

jazz fest new orleans

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Originally uploaded by jkdavis216

We have had a week off and it's been great - I have had so many thoughts running through my mind - so I'm just going to make a list and address each one as it comes.
- recent patient experience and the barriers to adequate healthcare
- being 25 and not really sure what's in store or what i want to be, WHO i want to be and where I want to go (physically and beyond)
- family dynamics
- friend dynamics
- how much i love having a dog
- how much i love running
- how much i love the bay
- how confusing men are
- my recent difficulty staying focused

more on all of that later... that was your preview.

My mind is everywhere. I am sitting in the coffee shop writing a paper on multi-drug resistant tuberculosis and I am thinking about Paul Farmer and my Culture, Health and Science certificate and all the wonderful classes and professors that I met and learned so much from! I am getting sad because I feel so distant from that life, I'm far away from college and most of the people associated with it, and some of the folks to whom I talked about these things so often are no longer in my life.
BUT - the positive side of all of this, is that even when I was doing all of that, attending classes to talk about healthcare, poverty, widespread diseases, etc.. I didn't have any platform from which to really affect the issues... and now I'm in nursing school, being given a chance to remember why I chose this field in the first place! I've made great friends (pictured above), get to live in such a beautiful place, with my dog and a temporary roommate who drives me crazy but whom I love a lot.
I just have to write all of this, to remind myself why I'm here and to keep in mind all of those people who have been forgotten and whose lives can be improved with love, knowledge, and a good nurse! hehe.

nathan, jessica, jed

nathan, jessica, jed
Originally uploaded by midlfork97

i am really missing this

Lake Pond Orielle

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Originally uploaded by midlfork97

I miss this place - I spent my summer living in the house with the front porch from which this picture was taken.
I can't imagine my life having not lived in this place - for better or for worse, I woke up every morning feeling as though I was living some sort of dream. The lesson I learned from this, though, is that a dream only lasts so long; dreams are usually too good to be true, and despite how happy you are and how wonderful the dream seems to be, question everything and always follow your intuition no matter how difficult it may be. words to live by, for sure.

I've been feeling so blue lately - everything in my life is fine and manageable, but for some reason, the blues are catching up with me! Nothing serious, but I decided that everyday either when I wake up or when I'm heading to bed, I am going to make at list of things that make me happy.

So here goes:
- the dogwood trees that are blooming now - one particular dogwood tree in bayfront park is stunning - I know it has weathered a lot of storms, and it's shape is still perfect and strong.
- my parents
- waking up early and greeting the day slowly, brewing coffee, shower, sipping coffee, and walking cash
- my walk with cash this morning: within the first 10 minutes he had eaten a flattened dried up frog (I had a cup of joe in my hand, so I couldn't get it out of his mouth quickly enough this time), we saw a varmot, which means that an alligator was not far behind, and we walked out onto the dock, where cash managed to roll in fish guts on the wood - gross! it still makes me laugh, though.
- listening to the live version of "fallen" my new favorite song

new favorite song - the live version that I have sounds like a prayer.

LOVE IT.
-jw


FALLEN

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
- Sarah McLachlan

awkward catfish pose

awkward catfish pose
Originally uploaded by midlfork97

the catfish and me

happy easter!

this weekend was filled with simple, happy moments

- pizza and beer with the nursing class
- "dinner" at big daddy's on fish river with two new found friends, ordered only appetizers: fried pickles, fried okra, and crab claws - had a few brews and listened to local bluegrass by the river under a full moon
- lots of walks with the dog, flowers blooming everywhere on our path
- waking up early to go fishing on sat. morning - went out to the bay house before light and got the fishing rods, walked out on the pier looking at the full moon setting on the water, it was so gorgeous, quiet, and calming.
- pre-fishing breakfast with more new found friends: bacon, eggs, and hashbrowns
- fishing on pensacola bay - catching a catfish, some stingrays, lots of pinefish, and a sheepshead
- scary little crabs that we used for bait getting out of their bowl and crawling all over the boat, just like a scene from an alfred hitchcock movie
- lunch on the boat - food is so good when you've been fishing all day
- driving home through all the strawberry fields, finding out about the strawberry festival in april
- easter mass at st. john's on magnolia springs with the priest who does everything, sings and plays the piano and speaks several different languages
- walking into easter mass and listening to the rosary - i don't think i've sat and listened to and prayed the rosary since i was a small child at st. rose - may and october are the months dedicated to mother mary and so we'd sit outside every morning when we got to school and would say the rosary together - it was such a peaceful and innocent time - i went back there today.
- easter brunch with my nursing school friend: french toast with hawaiian bread, blackberry sauce, eggs, bacon, and fruit.
- walking around the fairhope pier with cash and watching the kids play around the family easter picnics

I made these cookies - they're awesome. I love the kashi dark chocolate and cherry bars, these cookies are a less-healthy alternative. hehe. enjoy!

yesterday, my friend and I took our dogs to gulf shores! we had a great time - i always forget how beautiful the gulf beaches are, and it seemed that the dogs really enjoyed it, too! i'll post pictures soon. peace out - jw

woohoo!! i did it!! check on the new flickr badge!!

Well, I got really annoyed at myself (and my blog) because I could not post my flickr photos in a cute little sidebar like I've seen in other blogs. I tried, but I do not know enough about HTML scripty stuff to figure it out - but the other problem was that my pictures are very NOT up to date, I broke my camera (the second to "mysteriously break" in 3 months) and I had to do some adjustments in the banking department to round up money for a new camera. So... new camera... check... on to posting the flickr blogger thingy... soon... and new post... check. here I am.
I am sitting here with my dog, he's scared of the wind and looking at me as though I am a completely insensitive owner ignoring his whining and not petting him enough. Little does he remember, but I took him for a 6 mile walk, let him run on the beach, gave him a chicken treat (cage-free at that!) and shower him with more love than I shower my own siblings!!
I must blog every night! I need it!
Today I had nursing school, it was frustrating for unreasonable and totally preventable ways, but I got through it, went on my walk, bought a new camera, rented three movies, got home, fed the dog, finished the left-over annie's macaroni and cheese and a few glasses of wine and appropriately watched "A Good Year." It was wonderful. I forget how much I love movies - they freshen up my emotions, take me to a world beyond my own and remind me that the options in life are unlimited. The movies takes place in Provence France and it reminded me of all the places left to see in the rest of the world. I feel good... free and good.
More when I go to bed...
peace out,
jw

Have you ever bought a book or received one as a gift and returned to it some time later realizing that it fits perfectly in your current place in life? Perhaps it fits because you can relate to a specific character or to a specific character's situation. Perhaps it fits because it relays a lesson that is pertinent to current circumstance. Or, perhaps it fills a void or offers a voice or perspective unavailable to you right now.

I have been missing my Mount Holyoke friends, wishing they were around to share womanly advice, wishing we could all grab a sandwich at tailgate and sit and talk about politics or boyfriends, or our lack of boyfriends... this void has brought me back to an old book given to me by my friend, Maureen. The book is Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts. Maureen gave it to me as a joke, but I have really enjoyed it - AND it just so happens that Mama Gena went to Mount Holyoke and loves to explore the untapped potential of women! It's great!!

I may be adding more about my thoughts on Mama Gena in the next few days... be on the lookout.

good morning

i couldn't help it
Originally uploaded by midlfork97

I ran this morning with Cash, it was lots of fun and I just showered and got ready - my old favorite jeans fit again!! I haven't been trying to lose weight or anything; just being happy, exercising (my dog gives me a great excuse to walk many times/day), eating right (not eating out so much) and staying busy are getting me back into shape. It feels good. This picture is Cash and I hiking in North Carolina.

I just realized in reading over my previous post that I didn't make it clear why the jp quote is still appropriate. The idea that I was getting at, by mentioning that I'm now living on my own again and am feeling very inspired by school and the path that I'm headed down, is that I actually come home and have a LOT to say, just nobody to say it to! I do have an amazingly playful and loving 8 month old black lab named, "cash," but he's not too interested in who is running for president and his or HER healthcare ideas... although he does pretend to listen - ears perked up and eyes as large as these chocolate cookies - he's precious. Nevertheless, blogging seems appropriate for me, i DO have something to say.

Today, I decided to get back to blogging - I haven't logged onto blogger.com in a few years it seems and as I went to make adjustments to my template and header, etc... I realized that I still love the quote, from 'Angel from Montgomery' by John Prine - and it's actually still appropriate. Let me explain. I just recently moved away from most everyone that I know - I've made a few friends, but none quite yet to whom I can unload all unfiltered thoughts and comments. I am living on my own again, but it's different this time - I feel much more focused in my goals (I'm getting my Masters in Nursing) and I feel like, at this point, I've made huge mistakes, learned lots of nasty, painful lessons and now that I've gotten that out of the way, I'm ready to pool my energy into learning as much as I can and then working to better the lives of all the children that I may come across in the future.

I am working on a pediatric nursing route, most likely emergency medicine for a while and then transitioning either to a patient teaching/case management position or a nursing school professor. Either way, I finally feel enabled to dream of achievable goals. It's exciting.

Back to studying... pathophysiology and pharmacology - I've got finals on monday... along with lots of mardi gras parades to attend between now and then.

-j-